Well, the other thing that's been on my mind is this whole love thing. “The more I love you, the closer I get, and the easier it is to hurt you”. Sounds familiar? I don't know.. Perhaps I have unrealistic view, or standard of unconditional love. A friend asked me today where I stood on perhaps marriage. Is it safe to say that we get married to get divorced, that we have rules so we can break them? That we have good so that evil may exist? It’s a bit of the paradox that is imbedded in almost all things human.
Love will end. Will it stop one day? After 10 years? 20 years? What guarantee can I give that the way I feel about you now, will be the same, will be better after all those years. How many years does it take for the flame of love to be extinguished? Very cynical, very pessimistic, and very morbid. Perhaps a human cannot love unconditionally, perhaps that is the condition of our fallen nature. Only perfect love can love unconditionally. How are we made perfect? And if nothing lasts forever, it’s only what’s in this mortal realm, what’s in this mortal love.
It has driven me to this conclusion. I cannot love like God; I can't change my own heart. How can I change it? I can't. Imbued with perfection? How can I even grasp one shard of what perfection is? God is perfect. Be it black or white, one or zero, infinite subjectivities forming a singular objective. I don't claim to know how the omniscient mind perceives or conceives, give us faith, trust, hope and love. And of all these; love remains. God is love.
And so, can I love you till the day I die without hurting you? Or is hurt a part of love, an integral faction in understanding another piece to the perfect puzzle. Like we said before, we cannot even grasp perfection. Perhaps perfection means certain imperfections here and there. I’d like to think we'll never know till we actually see it. We won't know if we could love, until we have.
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