My little Lengua misadventure

They're nasty, vile, disgusting, vomit inducing... and I love them.

I don’t know if you ever heard this, but there exists such a concoction as an ox tongue that is cooked in milk. These ‘Lenguas’ are typically sold in food joints that serve ‘lutong-bahay’ or even in certain restaurants around the city. For the longest time I wondered why anyone would think to sell such a weird sounding, and looking, food. The smell is pungent and has the capability of clearing sinuses. Who is buying these things? Who are these people so desperate for food that they need to buy a fifty-peso meal that doesn’t even come with a free toy? Well, I hate to admit it, but I’m one of “those” people.

For the longest time I was mystified by this rare and unusual practice. I’ve mentioned the “dila ng kalabaw” to other people and everyone agrees it’s quite strange. Most people know what it is, because they hang out in the same places I do, but there is an overwhelming large group of people that have not yet experienced this. I was in staunch opposition to this practice. It was disgusting food for crying out loud! I couldn’t let this filth continue! And then one afternoon, I got really hungry.

As it was, Ching and I had ventured out into the great outdoors (north of UST main) and visited the food tents that took over what used to be parking spaces of the college admin. Well, Ching usually does a good job of getting me worked up, which I certainly don’t complain about. After an hour of energy draining laughing session, we then begin to search for food, and along the way we come face to face with the ‘Lengua’ vendors. Now, this is where things get murky. The smell, which had originally repulsed me, now enticed me. The appearance that was an abomination suddenly became a glorious divine vision. For a second, I though I was alone with this enticement, but when I looked over at Ching, flashing her curious-and-naughty smile, I knew she was thinking the same thing I was.

We had no idea how much these creatures were, but we didn’t care. All we knew was that we wanted an ox tongue, come hell or high water! What was nice was that the tongues cost only fifty pesos, and for an additional fifteen, they throw in a hot coke. Ox tongue and hot coke. Appealing.

The vendors are very cheerful too. Perhaps it’s because they know how disgusting their product is and they can only laugh at the idiot saps who fall victim to the sweet, tempting smell of their ‘Lengua Estofados’. Or perhaps still, they just speak too much. Either way, they’re a joy to have around.

They placed our tongues in a styro and covered it with some thick sauce, and topped it with mushrooms. Once they handed it to me, I had a moment of self-realization and took a step back to assess this situation. Was I really going to eat this thing? It was bad enough I’d already spent money on it. Then I jumped back into the moment and proclaimed, “Damn right I’m going to eat it!” I said it in my head. Ching, I think she lapsed into a different world of newfound ox tongue happiness.

If heaven and orgasms were materialized, they would be combined in the form of an ox tongue covered in thick milk sauce. I kid you not; these people had struck gold with this idea! It was the most delicious tongue I’d ever tasted in my life! Ching and I were beside ourselves consuming every bit of the treat.

Why hadn’t we tried these sooner?

We continued back to the building with our lengua secret in our past. We were still talking about how good it tasted; like kids in a candy shop. At the corridor we cracked open our hot coke, which left something to be desired, but it hit the spot nonetheless.

The next day we had a discussion, along the lines of one of those, “I can’t believe I did that…” conversations. We established that in order for us to order these ox tongues, we, or anybody we suspect, have to be in extreme starvation. Under normal circumstances, the reality of the situation would probably sway you into not purchasing, but it’s amazing what so much hunger can do to your judgment, especially when it comes to food.